The Call...

She called me today

REENA

Every time that name flashes on the display, I plunge down deep into the mystical days. Days when that was the only number my mobile dialed... Days when I spoke for hours on the overseas call... Days when I couldn’t care less about hanging out with the guys… Days when that ring tone was enough to get me scampering to more private confines... Days that her simple words could make or break… Days when I waited for her to say she loved me…

Now we don’t speak all that often. No fights, no flirts. When we do speak, it’s just a passive exchange of pleasantries- a formal note that we still stay in touch like we agreed.

I fell in love with Reena before I even met her. I loved her before I ever heard her voice. In fact, I think I loved her before I even knew her name. If all this sounds a bit like a teenage flick movie- it did. And I lived it, to all it could give.

We were geographically poles apart. And yet I felt the oneness I never did. She was more than my love. She mirrored my anger, my ego, my ambition… Talking to her was an honest opinion of introspection.

I felt whole again. She was the kind of complete packages you get- friend, advisor, fun mate, serious partner, vent and hope… Reena… I began to feel like she was an extension to my being- my solace and comfort.

She called me today.

I have been rambling on my loneliness ever since. Ever looking for a way to get back what I lost. Waiting to reclaim my love. Waiting for my happiness. Waiting to take back what was mine.

But she was all I needed. All I had. Reena…

We fought only all too often. About the littlest of things. I felt the longing to belong. Somewhere… To do something to bridge that gap with my friends. I could sense my social circle concentrating. And we started taking our frustrations on each other. Of course, I did not even feel the comfort to take it out on anyone else anymore. I did not care to talk. My phone book was just her number, which I could repeat unconscious. And the imbalance began to weigh down.

Her anger tantrums were more frequent. Sometimes I just planned smart ways to not call her. She was smart enough to sense it. Our fights grew to a point where love ceased to endurance.

We still loved each other. She was still all that she always was. I tried to be.

The break up was as amicable as a break up could be. We decided we could not carry forward. We chose to be friends forever. We decided to drop it off, and pick the leads back after a couple of years. We stood at the signboard of the point of no return. And I took the first step in.

Ever since, I have been waiting for her to come back. I have been hoping we could make it work. Anticipating her magic words of assurance that there is still hope that our paths will merge.

Ever since, I have always known that the roads are crossed and gone. Any attempt to persuasion would only push us further apart. I have always known that the game is over and the shutters closed. I have always known that I will always care…

She called me today.

My mobile could sense my thoughts when it flashed

REENA

I wished she would tell me she wanted to get back...
I knew she wouldn’t...

She didn't... And still, I wish...